I actually feel 20.
Every other year (that I can remember), I haven't actually "felt" the age I'm turning until the following birthday. Didn't feel 15 until I turned 16, didn't feel 16 until I turned 17, etc. I suppose it might be a case of the "you don't know what you got til it's gone" phenomenon. It could also have been due to the fact that I wasn't really sure how I was supposed to feel at 16, until I spent a year experiencing that age, knew what "Juliana being 16" meant, and then suddenly it was gone.
20 and still a shameless dork and cool with it.
20, on the other hand, has been a long time coming. While I've complained plenty about wanting to skip it entirely and go straight to 21, this is actually kind of a momentous occasion for me.
20 and being totally candid...
I'm not entirely sure why. Sure, I can say it's the beginning of a new chapter, or a period of time society holds as one of exploration and discovery. But I start new chapters all the time, and the exploration won't be starting, just continuing.
Yet somehow, I find myself sitting up a little straighter, feeling a little more comfortable in my own skin, and, most surprising of all, living in the moment.
xoxo
Maralah
p.s. FINALLY, I've perfected tattoo #2. Getting the outline done sometime in the next couple weeks. Sohh exchiitedd. Aand pictures from yesterday in my beautiful, beautiful Santa Cruz.
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