Balance

On April 28th at 9:30 pm, I did my first real headstand.



Fear, together with an understanding of my own body that is still in the beginning stages, kept me up against the wall for a good while. But with determination ("I know I'll do it someday") and slow and steady practice ("I need to build up my goddamn core"), progress is inevitable. And so, with a very controlled little leap and then some crazy core concentration to get my other leg up, I DID MY HEADSTAND!

Working my way up to this point--throwing myself up, falling, panicking--made me feel like a million pounds. My legs felt half like jelly and half like plutonium, heavy and clumsy and never going where I wanted them to.

The funny thing is, once I was up there, I felt incredibly light. Once I got it, finding that little flat place on my head and finally aligning my body, I felt like a feather. My whole body was engaged, and I still have to concentrate to stay in it, but I think I am beginning to discover the meaning of balance.

xoxo
Juliana

The Green Life (+ Pasta Recipe)

Ah, Spring. Everything's green! Smoothies, noodles, a certain herb celebrated in a certain meadow on April the 20th...


Me and my girl Anna doing smoothies in the forest

I've been eating/blending/playing with all the green things I can find lately. Kale, dandelion greens, macha, parsley, nettle, the works. A few days ago I came across a delightful looking recipe for spring pasta, which I will now pass along to you. The sauce is bright and zesty and super light, and left me feeling invigorated in a way that pasta usually doesn't (I'm talking about wanting to lie down and sleep after a big bowl of spaghetti).



Ingredients:
1 head of spinach, 1 handful of dandelion greens, 1 handful of kale
1 handful of fresh parsley
1-2 cloves of garlic
1 inch piece of fresh ginger
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 avocado
juice from 1 lemon
1/4 tsp. salt
1 cup coconut milk

Directions:
Steam the spinach, dandelion greens, and kale very lightly; I left them in there for about a minute, until they turned a brighter shade of green and started to wilt just a little bit. Then do any necessary chopping and throw it all in a food processor, and you're done! I used quinoa spaghetti-style pasta, but you go crazy and use whatever noodles you want. I also seasoned it with some red pepper flakes and nutritional yeast.

I used a fair bit of extra parsley and garlic, making it into something of a superfood chimichurri sauce. I stored what was leftover in the fridge and it's turned out to be super versatile; I've used it on various other dishes already (mostly grain and vegetable medleys). Nutritious and delicious.

Happy Spring, and here's to my love Summer already peeking playfully around the corner.

xoxo
Juliana

The Spring Winds Blow Wild & Free

"The Pink Moon is an exciting time of unsettled energy. We feel the urge to try new things and move ahead. Tonight, as the Pink Moon rises, tap into this energy."
- Witches' Datebook

Sometimes, when I haven't written and read and been upside down and listened to music that makes me cry in a while, I forget that I believe in magic. I forget how to reach in and touch the place inside of me that reminds me what I am, and why the part I have to play is unique and necessary and inevitable.

School has been making me feel one-dimensional lately. I've been comparing myself too much to those around me, wondering why I'm not as gifted and advanced as the guy over there landing top internships and understanding principles in a second that take me hours to comprehend. I remember that it takes hard work, and I remember that I have different gifts, but the fact that my gifts don't make money has been weighing on me. I know it's stupid. I'm not failing my classes; I'm doing quite well. I find what I'm learning fascinating. But I know that I'll never be the best, and as realistic and totally normal that is--the best is subjective, and even so, there can only be one at the top--it's a hard truth to stomach for someone who is really trying for the first time in her life.

It is imperative to remember that you are not your major or your job. At least, it is for me. These are all parts, and as the ultimate designer of your own self, it is up to you to decide what defines you. You can have as many parts as you want, and any one of them can take center stage at any time. These parts can be works in progress: today I am an aspiring surfer (took my first class on Tuesday), an aspiring yogi (did my first handstand today), and an aspiring well-rounded software engineer. Furthermore, deciding to do or be something can come from completely out of the blue. An identifiable catalyst is not necessary; sometimes, from the abyss, comes life.

Sometimes I have to remember that, as cliche as it sounds, the thing I am the best at is being me, no matter where my career takes me and what hobbies I pursue (and screw that word, it negates the importance of life outside moneymaking). All I have to do is keep going.

Has Spring's rebirth awakened anything in you?