Time has been strange to me this week.
It has caught up to me as I realize that finals are in seven days;
Left me behind as it advanced an hour, which I didn't actually realize until today (funny story...short version is, all my clocks reset automatically);
Made me aware of the way in which it attempts to thoroughly decide many aspects of our lives. So often do we hear the words, the timing was just off. Or: we met at the wrong time. Yet another common one in my life: I just don't have enough time.
I caught a glimpse of summer today, as bipolar Santa Cruz surprised us with some 75 and sunny no-sweater-needed weather. Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer. Yet, officially, we are still in winter for another week. We've somehow jumped two seasons ahead. Part of me is ecstatic that I can wear a dress and sandals tomorrow; part of me worries, like a child does about her sick mother, about the state of our dear Earth. It should not be summer in winter.
These days, time is not constant to me. Oh no. Often it moves too quickly, laughing maniacally as I frantically try and keep up and keep my wits about me. Other times I am disillusioned by its slow decay, desperately wanting to jump ten years into the future.
It is difficult to live in the moment. Thankfully I have a best friend who never fails to make me laugh and utterly forget what time it is.
I resolve to fight back, not against time itself, but against the stress it continuously causes me; I resolve to fight this war peacefully, by accepting that we are all haunted by the same ticking ghost, all monitored by the same merciless clock, and that I am not alone. We are all subject to the passing seconds, days, years.
As a grey wizard once said to a worried young hobbit:
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
Is that not an encouraging thought?
xoxo
Maralah
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