Light, Clean and Green

I never, ever in a million years thought I'd be saying this, but:

It looks like I might be becoming a vegetarian.

I've tried to post about this a few times, but I couldn't seem to write anything that made sense. After all, this is all new to me. I have never looked down on vegetarians, but I've never understood them, either. Eating meat is a natural thing; food chains are built upon the fact. We derive necessary proteins from it, and we are not the only animals who eat other animals. There is nothing wrong with eating meat. Right?

Yet suddenly, after an incident with some ribs, I can't eat it anymore. I feel like a cannibal.

I haven't necessarily justified it, because as a personal and harmless choice, I don't feel the need to. But I have attempted to explain the sudden turning of my appetite with the following logic: regardless of our biological needs and instincts, humans have, whether as an element of evolution or despite it, developed socially and spiritually to the point where each of us may have our own moral code. We may choose to do or not to do certain things that, without conscience, biology would drive us to. And this is also a natural thing.

So no, I no longer believe that animals should be raised and slaughtered and processed in order for me to eat. They don't have to. I can get protein from other places, and I can even eat meat substitutes (currently testing Gardein products; the crispy tenders are deliciously guilt-free).

I've tried to eat meat a few times since my initial realization after the rib incident (explanation: a couple of months ago I ate a half rack of ribs, suddenly felt disgusting, and had to go throw them out in the dumpster because I couldn't bear having them in my apartment). I know myself as a meat lover, after all, and I couldn't quit cold turkey (hah). Each time, however, I've felt the same way: dirty, weighed down, and guilty. When I've gone periods of time without it, eating extra fruit and vegetables and actually less starchy food (just going by what I feel like eating), I feel so much better. Light, clean and green. I feel more pure. Because after all, this is only half about me, the consumer, and the other side of the relationship--the "giving" side--is so much more important. While I can't keep anyone else from eating meat, and don't look down on them for it, I sleep better at night knowing that nothing has died for my "benefit" today.

We are all children of this earth, none above or below any other. If I have the choice not to eat my brothers and sisters, if I can survive and be healthy without eating meat, then I will make that choice.

So while I haven't labeled myself a vegetarian concretely, I'm in the midst of a personal experiment, and it looks to be headed that way. I also came to the conclusion, however, while discussing this with E, that we don't need to label our diets. What we eat is a personal choice, and it doesn't need to follow strict guidelines set by a dictionary definition; only what we feel is right in our hearts and our bellies.

And yes, I ate turkey on thanksgiving, because if I hadn't my abuelita wouldn't have known what to do with me.

xoxo
Juliana