Actually, I've 110% decided I'm not getting it anymore.
It's a disconcerting feeling, being told "I told you so" by your own conscience. I was just itching so bad to just get it already and convinced myself that the design I had was the perfect one. And that the bodily location was final.
'twasn't.
I told a couple people about it and showed them the design, and I think I might've jinxed it. So, in the spirit of sharing and perhaps unjinxing, here's the tattoo that never happened.
Here's why it made sense:
1. I've always wanted a triple spiral or triple moon, representative of the maiden/mother/crone cycle and the triple goddess. (side note: I actually like the triple moon better, but came up with the reasoning that it was flawed because it only represented the mother phase as whole, and maiden and crone as slivers, as if they meant less. Then I realized that the slivers are just the visible parts, that the whole is still there, and that I would rather get a triple moon than spirals...sigh, my head)
2. I love the look of roots, and have always identified with them strongly, as I associate them with family.
3. I like to think I'm good at drawing leaves.
4. I designed/drew it myself, so it was original, goddamnit. I wanted it to be unique, not just the triple spiral so many people have.
Good reasons, right? But four fourths don't always make a cohesive whole, apparently. Even though I loved it, it didn't speak to me. I thought it would look good on my upper right side, around where a swimsuit could hide most of it, but the truth is, I don't really want a tattoo there. It's just the most reasonable place to put something larger that you don't want everyone to see. Socially acceptable, in other words.
So here enters the dilemma between what speaks to me and what speaks to society.
My head tells me to get tattoos where I can easily hide them; my side around my breast, my hipbone, perhaps behind my ear.
My heart tells me to get a triple moon around my bellybutton and a Pocahontas-like armband around my bicep.
The coolest (official) Disney princess next to Belle. Did you know she's the only DP to have two love interests? Props for acknowledging that not everyone meets a prince at 16 and lives happily ever after (nor does everyone want to).
The problem is my head is very persuasive and logical and does not back down easily. It says, think of your parents! Think of the work world, of that boss who won't hire you! Think of never being able to hide it!
So I come to you, blogosphere. Do you have visible tattoos? Have they affected your professional life? Do you worry about what your parents or your grandparents or your children will think?
I'm leaning towards my heart right now, but neither side tends towards surrender.
xoxo
Maralah
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