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Friday, September 20, 2013

Considering My Pretend Titles

When it comes to writing, I have a problem finishing what I start.

Time between writing that sentence and writing this one: like a minute. Case in point. I can write first sentences well enough. I couldn't even begin to quantify how many first sentences I've thought of for novels. And god, they were all fantastic. I could assign a feeling to them--a general theme--but, alas, never a fully dressed tale and never anything past the first paragraph. Well, a couple times I was able to. But a couple out of a thousand. A fraction of a percent.

I suppose I'm particularly good at crafting pretty doors, in life and in writing. Yet in life, the problem presents itself sooner and is inherently more important (it is more critical to get on with my life than to get on with my book).

It has led me to believe that I simply don't have the drive. I have the imagination, but not the commitment and the perseverance. I do think someday I might finish my book. But my dream of being a published author (being commercially successful is not important, just that I have a solid book of my own that I can hold in my hands and give to all the English teachers I've had) in this stage of my life has, I think, gotten away from me.

Can I consider myself a writer if I can't finish my story?

Can I consider myself an artist if my art is drawn on printer paper with supplies leftover from my high school art classes? Can I consider myself an environmentalist if I'm not going door to door asking people to support the cause? Can I consider myself a gardener if all I grow is three herbs in little pots? Can I consider myself a musician if all my songs are recorded using my iPhone's Voice Memo tool?

Well, it appears I've gotten a little off topic, haven't I. *How unusual*.

Maybe I'm having an identity crisis?

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Not a Knot

There are ways I know you are not my other half.
When I do not see you for months,
I do not despair.
I continue rolling along on my own,
With the quiet thought of you alongside me,
And your memory, without touch, making me smile
Every once in a while.
When I hear love songs
Praising, adoring, crying and dying,
I do not think of you
I do not think of weddings.
Without you I am not incomplete.
You do not make me weak in the knees,
You will never make me say please,
Stay, I’ll do anything.
Neither of us are steady.
I run off when I hear distant music,
You have your nose buried in other worlds.
We are not a knot,
We cannot bind ourselves together,
We are ever growing,
We would suffocate.
This is how I know you are not my other half.
This is how I know you do not complete me.

This is how I know that if I am sometimes a wave,
You are sometimes an otter.
This is how I know that we are both anchors
On our own ships.
This is how I know that if there is one
Who would roll alongside me
And let me be whole,
If there is someone like that
In the world,
I know
It would be someone a lot like
You.


Don't steal my shit, you know.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Sea Witches & Silver Warriors

Sea Witch

Huntress

Cat Girl

Silver Warrior

Autumn People

Countess

Frank Frazetta's fantasy world, a main component of mine. And the soundtrack always playing in my dreamland, by the righteous babe herself: